Bachelorette Recap Part 1: It's (Not) So Hard to Say Goodbye

Can we all agree that a double dose of The Bachelorette is too much? I forgot there was an episode on Sunday, so I watched that one last night and tonight will have to watch last night's and cover that (did you catch that?). Basically, you'll get Monday's recap tomorrow. Sorry I'm not really sorry, but two hours of this BS at once is about all I can take. FYI, they did this because there's no episode next week.

This week they are off to Santa Barbara, an "unbelieveable" destination a whole 45 minutes from where they are now. Seriously? Methinks the travel budget has been reduced because next week they "get to" go to Connecticut? Don't act excited guys, it's not exciting.

First up for a one-on-one is Nick V., who at first glance reminds me of Frank Buffay on Friends, aka Giovanni Ribisi. Anyone?

There's not much to say about this date. She's into him, he's into her. I like Nick because he's one of the "normal" ones who actually questions the notion of finding love on a reality TV show. He gets a rose anyway.

Before the worst group date in Bachelor History, we have yet another Suave Commercial, which are somehow more awkward and horrible than anything I've seen in a long time. I used to respect Catherine and Deana. (By respect, I mean 'stalk them on Instagram.) But now...I just can't.

Brian, Marquel, Cody, Tasos, Brett, Ron, Bradley, Josh, Eric, Andrew, Patrick and Marcus gather with Andi at a bogus Music Academy where the men walk in to a serenade of Boyz II Men singing, "I'll Make Love to You."

I'd like us all to sit and think about this for one minute: 12 dudes walk into a room where 3 other dudes (where's the 4th Boyz, BTW?) are singing a song to said 12 dudes that is strictly about getting laid. Anyone else think this is weird? I mean, I have noticed since night one that, as with every season of The Bachelorette, the dudes are heavily invested in some serious Bromance, but c'mon, this is a little much. 

Another side note: Boyz II Men was my first concert. My parents got my sister and I six tickets to their concert for Valentine's Day. We got to take a limo and everything. I remember thinking that people would probably assume we were the band when we pulled up out front. I felt beautiful in a black and white babydoll dress with knee-high socks and black patent leather shoes. It was an amazing night.

You can imagine my disappointment to see such a beloved group stooping to such a low as a freaking group date on The Bachelorette. 

In any case, the men are divided into two groups where Boyz II Men will coach each group to perform portions of "I'll Make Love to You" in front of a live audience. If I were someone who'd actually paid money to go to this concert and this group of yahoos sang one of the BEST SONGS EVER instead I'd be as pissed as the little blonde girl covering her ears the whole time.

This was painful to watch. Especially when the "Opera Singer" tried to sing in a ridiculous vibrato and that wedding planner (did anyone else just notice he's a wedding planner?) held the mic like Eminem.

Let's move on to the party portion of the date where hilarious Andi "pranks" meathead Cody (about as funny as Sean Lowe saying he still lived with his parents), makes out with everyone and ultimately gives Josh the rose. I'm going to go on a limb and say Josh makes it to final two, hands down. He's her type guys. HOT.

Next Andi goes on a one-on-one with No Pants Dance/Panstaprenuer where she decides it's a good idea to make herself and her future husband look ugly by "growing old" together. For some reason, Andi thinks looking old, walking around a park and talking like Lindsay Lohan will help determine if she can see herself with JJ for the long haul. I'm bored. And I take back what I said about Boyz II Men being the worst date. While other guys get to ride in helicopters and watch sunsets from a cliff, he gets to look ugly and walk like a hunchback.   

Meanwhile Ron leaves due to a death of a friend, which is sad, but...see ya, Ron. We hardly knew ya. No seriously, we don't know a single thing about you. The guys get mad at Andrew for apparently getting some chick's phone number (are we sure it wasn't a dude?). And she sends home the guy with the rat tail, aka "I love lamp."

Next week (damn it, tomorrow...er last night?) we go to Connecticut. Can't wait?

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