Connor's Birth Story

On October 5, 2017 at 11:51 a.m., our son, Connor Leo, was born. Arriving 4 weeks early, he weighed 7lbs 4oz and was 20-inches long.

Connor Leo Farrell

I shared my journey of placenta previa during my pregnancy with Connor. At the time that was published, I was 34 weeks pregnant, and waiting on pins and needles to get to our scheduled c-section on October 5 with no issues.

celebrating my 34th birthday in the hospital!

On September 27, the day before my 34th birthday and the day before we reached 35 weeks, I had some more minor bleeding. So minor in fact, I was annoyed to even call the doctor because I knew what they would tell me, and what would follow. The bleeding was some light spotting and it was over before I even got on the phone with the on-call doctor. But, since we don't take any chances with bleeding and previa, Bryan and I grabbed our hospital bags and headed to Labor and Delivery.

Our last picture as a family of three!

I spent a few hours being monitored, where they determined no active bleeding, but I was having quite a few contractions. I stayed under observation to make sure I wasn't in labor, but once those were under control, we were moved back to antepartum, where we spent the night. The next day, they informed us that they wanted to keep me there until delivery. They said the chances of another bleed were good, and that I was not likely to be as lucky if it happened.

While not ideal, I did have some peace of mind knowing that if anything happened during the week, I was where I needed to be. After all, that was my big fear with going home after the second bleed. And, a week wasn't bad, in the grand scheme of things. I spent the week working from the hospital and trying to take advantage of the situation by resting, watching too much TV, reading and getting sleep when I could. Each day that passed brought us closer and closer to meeting our baby boy, and I could.not.wait.

As the week came to a close, I began to get more and more anxious about my c-section, and all that would come during and after. I worried about the risks and the recovery, and about Connor's health. I worried about Liam. Fear of the unknown, of course. I asked a million questions and tried to embrace the knowledge that a c-section is a common surgery. Millions of women have this routine procedure, and all necessary teams would be in place should anything happen.

Night before birth! 35 weeks, 6 days pregnant

I woke up early on Thursday, October 5 during rounds (which start around 6am). My nurses told me that our 9:30 start time was likely going to be delayed. (It was a full moon that night, and labor and delivery was a busy place!) I got some labs drawn, had my IVs put in, and was going to shower when the team came up and said they were ready for us after all. Eek!

They brought us down to continue prepping for surgery. They got me and the baby hooked up to our monitors. They struggled to get a second IV line in, which they wanted to have in case of emergency. (I learned in this process I'm a "hard stick." They always had so much trouble getting a freaking vein.) After using an ultrasound to find a vein, they finally got one in. My mom arrived, and I started to cry.

While I was waiting back there, several other mamas were coming back after their births, which made me really panicky and anxious. A woman arrived who clearly had a c-section and all I could hear (and see) was her moaning and groaning in so much pain. The whole "hurry up and wait" thing was awful. They had me do a series of other things - drink some drink that was supposed to settle stomach acid, continued taking my vitals, etc.

It seemed surreal that we would be meeting our baby in a matter of moments, but finally, they brought me back to the operating room to get things moving. I said goodbye to my mom, and while Bryan suited up in his surgical gown and scrubs, I walked back to the OR. My nurse from labor and delivery was with me as I sat on the edge of this SUPER skinny metal bed. (Can we take a minute to praise the L&D nurses of the world? They are seriously amazing.) The anesthesiologist started drawing on my back with pen, and my nurse had me lean forward and hug a pillow. She was pregnant, and I remember talking to her about her pregnancy and feeling comfort that she knew what I was feeling. I took deep breaths and focused on staying as still as possible while the anesthesiologist first numbed the area, then did the spinal block and epidural.

I sat up for a minute so as to have the drugs go to my legs and not my chest, and as I feel my legs get cold and tingly, I watched as my nurse moved my legs and put them on the table. Not being able to feel your legs and watching others move them around is pretty bizarre. I lay down and immediately felt like my right arm where they had placed the second IV was going to explode. I said something to the anesthesiologist, and could tell this was not what I was supposed to feel.

I heard mentions of "infiltration" which basically means the needle slipped out of the vein. There is a flurry of activity as they continue to prep me, and look for another place to put an IV. After what felt like forever, one of the anesthesiologists told me to clench my neck, which I did. He explained that they couldn't find anywhere to put another IV, so they were going to skip it, but if things started going bad during surgery, they'd put a line in my neck. Gulp.


They hung the drape and finalized the surgical prep work. The anesthesiologist did a bunch of tests to see if I was numb. I was, but again, the feeling of not being able to feel your body is so, so weird, and I hated it. The longer I laid there, the more numb I got, and the more numb I got, the more I tried to move. I got really antsy and just wanted to move, but couldn't. Bryan came in and tried to talk to me to get me to focus on something OTHER than the fact that I couldn't feel my body, but it was to no avail. The anesthesiologist asked if I wanted some more to drugs to calm me down, but added that I wouldn't remember anything if he did. I said no, and focused on Bryan and breathing. Tears rolling down my cheeks, they began.

seeing my boy for the first time!

I can't accurately describe what it feels like to be awake while people cut into your body. The tugging and pulling was so uncomfortable. Not painful, just so, so uncomfortable. And I just kept thinking about them putting different organs on the table...outside of my body...ugh. I just kept looking at Bryan and while I don't remember what we talked about, it was enough to keep me focused for the few minutes it took for them to get Connor out. 

The next thing I knew, the doctors and nurses where laughing because as they pulled him out, Connor started peeing everywhere to announce his arrival. As Bryan looked over the drape, I saw his tears, too. The nurses took Connor to clean him off and the neonatologist started checking him. I told Bryan to go to him and kept asking if he was OK. When I heard his beautiful cry, the relief I felt is indescribable. He was perfect. They swaddled him up and gave him to Bryan, who brought me our beautiful boy.

Gigi visiting Connor in the NICU

I'll never be able to describe what it felt like to see him. I gave him a kiss on the cheek and touched his soft little face. Next thing I know, he's being taken away to get checked out in the NICU, and it's just me and Bryan again.

The doctors kept working on me. More tugging and pulling. At this point, I began to get really agitated. I tuned into what the doctors were saying, because now that Connor was out safely, I knew there was another piece to this puzzle, which was my bleeding and possible hysterectomy. I heard the doctors talking about my placenta being "sticky" and I heard the words "has to come out." I started shaking and I kept trying to move my body, getting so frustrated that I couldn't. I got so worked up about I was hearing from the doctors and the anesthesiologist gave me that medicine he mentioned earlier (he didn't ask me this time).

Hearing test

A lot of what happened next is a blur. When I "came to" (I never went to sleep, this is just the next thing I remember), I was still in the OR, and Bryan was there. Everyone was laughing because I was talking about the weather? I asked where everyone was, as I was aware the amount of people in the room was significantly less than earlier. (I had no idea how much time had passed.) The nurses assured me we were done and I was getting ready to be wheeled back to recovery. While my memory is foggy here, I do remember the nurses complimenting my eyelashes and I told them all about Lash Boost!

As I laid in recovery, I was extremely tired, and out of it, and in a lot of pain. They gave me as much pain medicine as they could at the time, and monitored my hemoglobin (to see how much blood I lost) and pain very closely. Again, this part is so groggy, but I do remember Bryan and my mom both looking very worried. I began to stabilize a little bit. Everyone kept assuring me that Connor was doing great, and I could see him again as soon as I went back up to my room. Bryan and my mom went to see Connor in the NICU. It's a very weird feeling to have just had a baby and not know where he is.

I was pretty out of it for the rest of the day. We didn't know it at the time, but I lost a significant amount of blood during surgery. I was super lethargic and in a good amount of pain, despite keeping on up pain meds. Some time later I went back up to my room and I meet Bryan there with my mom. He shows me pictures of Connor, who passed all of his tests with flying colors.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, they brought my boy to me. 

We are so thankful he didn't have to spend any time in the NICU. Despite being 4 weeks early, he was a big, healthy boy. His lungs worked great, his hearing was perfect. He was a little yellow, but his levels weren't to the point of jaundice, so he got to stay with us. 

Liam came later that day to meet his brother. He was super excited at first, and pretty quickly lost interest, haha. I don't think he really got what was happening, but I knew he was happy to see that there was finally a baby, and that mommy wasn't "sick" anymore.

I wasn't able to get out of bed that first day, but the next morning, around 6am, my nurse came to test my hemoglobin, and then insisted that I get up and move. I'd heard this advice from other c-section mamas, so although I was dreading it, I did as I was told.

Ho-ly Shit. I have never felt more pain in my life than getting up out of that hospital bed. I cried and swore like I've never cried and swore before. But they were right - each time I had to get up and pee, it still hurt like a mother, but I felt better every time. Later that morning, we got my hemoglobin labs back and the results weren't good. Apparently a "normal" blood level for someone like me is around 12 - mine were 5.5. Yikes. 

Since I had lost more blood than they thought during my surgery, I had to get two bags of blood via blood transfusion that day. The OB came in to talk to me about how things went the day before. I knew the gist, but now was time for details.

The doctor said that as it turns out, I did have Placenta Accreta (when the placenta is attached too deeply to the uterine wall). They suspected it was a possibility, but said we just wouldn't know until they got inside. Once they did, they found my placenta was pretty stuck in my uterus—again, I heard the "sticky" reference. 

The doctor explained that after some hard work, they removed a good portion of the placenta from the uterus. Enough where they didn't have to do a hysterectomy (hooray!). They said that might be why I was in so much pain...there was more tugging, pulling and cutting than in a normal c-section. All things considered, the docs were very pleased with how things turned out, and so were we.

After about 4 days in the hospital, we were able to go home with our new baby and begin life as a family of four. 

 

We've spent the past two months settling into a new normal, and I've been enjoying my time home with Connor so much. Liam LOVES his brother, but has had his fair share of difficulty in adjusting to things. While I know he won't remember all of this in the future, it's hard because he remembers it NOW. He still clearly worries every time I go to the doctor, or if I'm not feeling well. He asks almost every night if I'll be there in the morning when he wakes up. It breaks me every time.

And it's funny...like all hard moments in life, while all of this was going on, it was positively the worst thing to be going through. But now that we're through it, and I'm still here with two healthy boys...all of this turmoil feels like a distant memory. I remain thankful that while I experienced a horrible pregnancy, Connor was none the wiser. I stare at him every day in wonder, so thankful for this little human that we love so very much.

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Liam's Birth Story

Oh hey there! Sorry it's been a while but I've been busy--you know having and trying to successfully parent a baby!

I've got much to update you on from the past few weeks as "mom," but first I want to start with my beautiful baby boy's birth story while it is still fresh enough in my mind for me to remember all of the details. (PS - I've been writing this post for a month. Literally.)

Liam Albert Farrell joined the world on December 18, 2014 at 7:25 AM. He was 7 lbs. 1 oz. and 21 inches of perfect. To say we love him is the world's greatest understatement.

It all started on Monday, December 16. To give you all of the gory details, I started losing my mucous plug. I also started having contractions at this point, but they were way too far apart to be able to do anything. The next day, I went to my weekly check up to find out what progress, if any I had made. I assumed some, considering the whole mucous plug thing, but then again, at my last appointment I was told my cervix was "Fort Knox." Thankfully, I was 2 cm dilated and 100% effaced! My raspberry leaf tea and primrose oil worked! The doctor guess that it would be a couple of days before the baby arrived.

All day on Tuesday, my contractions continued to be about an hour apart. But man they were fierce! (Little did I know, I had yet to find out what real pain felt like.) On Wednesday I went on walks, drank some tea, ate some spicy Cheetos…my contractions got slightly closer but still were not consistent, and I had already propositioned my husband to have sex with me that night. (Sorry mom and dad.) In other words, baby needed to get out.

Around 9:45pm, I went to the bathroom. I sat there for what seemed like forever, and fluid would not stop coming out of me. I thought my water may have broken, but I couldn't be sure. The doctor told me that it probably wouldn't be a "gush" like you see in the movies because the baby's head was already pressed against my cervix. I grabbed a cup and tried to catch some fluid so I could test the smell and color. I tried to make Bryan smell, too, but he refused. LOL.

As we debated whether or not to go to the hospital (we didn't want to be turned away), my contractions got stronger and closer together. From about 13 minutes apart to 8 minutes apart in about an hour and a half. Bryan finally suggested we go to the hospital when I began sobbing because of the pain.

We got to the hospital and I was quickly admitted to triage, where there was no question I was in active labor. I was not comfortable lying down and I kept insisting I had to go to the bathroom. The nurses told me I didn't have to go. It was just the pressure of the baby. They tried to get me to lie down and relax, which was impossible with my pain. They did a check and I was 3 cm, 100% effaced. I'm not sure why they kept me so long down there – no one did – but after two hours they finally brought me up to labor and delivery to get my epidural.

Upon seeing how much pain I was in, the nurses suggested we skip all the paperwork and get right to the epidural. I couldn't say yes more quickly. However, it took another 45 minutes for them to access freaking a vein. By that point, my pain was off the charts. I gone from crying to swearing hitting things to now full-blown screaming at the top of my lungs, and convulsing in pain. Pretty much the only part of my labor that was like a movie. Poor Bryan didn't know what to do except tell me to breathe. In response, I'm pretty sure I screamed profanities and told him I couldn't fucking breathe because it hurt too bad. There's nothing anyone can say that will prepare you for how bad labor contractions hurt. It's just one of those things you have to go through to know. Now that I'm on the other side, I will say that I would do it again…But honestly, I don't know how women do it without an epidural and I give them SERIOUS props.

I've never seen a more confused person than my husband when he returned to the room after I got my epidural. The possessed person that I was only 20 minutes prior was suddenly calm and rational. I even had a smile on my face. Drugs are truly amazing.

After I got my epidural, Bryan and I laid down and trie to get some sleep. At this point, it was a little after 4 in the morning, and we had been at the hospital for several hours with no sleep. A short while later, the nurse came in to check on me. When I got my epidural, I had already progressed to a six. And when she checked me this time, I was already had a 10! She couldn't stop marveling at how fast I progressed on my own. She told me that the doctor would be in soon and that I should give myself a little bit more of my epidural because he'll probably want me to labor down for a while.  So I hit that little button and went back to sleep.

Next thing I knew, the doctor was in the room and asking me if I was ready to push. I was so unprepared - I expected to be in pain or to at least feel contractions and not to be so calm and rational. Like I said - drugs are amazing. In any case, we started to push. Because I had just given myself a little more of the epidural, it was very difficult for me to feel the contractions or how hard I was pushing. That's why they like you to be numb but not completely. After about an hour and half of pushing, the doctor told us that the baby was becoming distressed. His heart rate was low and he was in meconium (he pooped in the womb), which can be dangerous for baby. The doctor said if I couldn't push him out in the next few pushes, he would suggest using forceps to help get him out quickly. Bryan and I agreed that we would do whatever got him out safely.

A few more pushes and I knew I needed help, so forceps it was. About 6 pushes later, Liam entered the world!

                   

 

Because of the delivery and meconium, they took him away right away to get the meconium out of his mouth, etc., and check all other vitals. Bryan and I got to hold him for a couple of minutes before they took him down to the NICU to monitor him. I also spiked a fever during deliver, which meant that he also had a fever and infection. 

                            

At this point, all was good. We weren't concerned about the NICU because it seemed "old hat" to everyone in the room. And at this point, I was fine, too. We were happy and exhausted and spent the next couple of hours calling family and letting them know the good news.

Part 2 of the labor story coming soon: The complications (don't worry, there's a happy ending.)

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39 Weeks || Bumpdate

There is a very real chance that this is my last bumpdate! Completely crazy to think about and actually makes me kind of sad...but not that sad. Hopefully you don't find me back here next week eating my words.

We are just 3 days away from our due date today. I'm officially working from home until the action starts, which is so nice of my employer. I work about 45 minutes away from downtown Chicago, where I'm delivering, so we thought it was best I stay close to the homefront these last few days.

Today is also the day the psychic told me Baby Farrell would arrive. I suppose there is still time for that to happen, but I'm not holding my breath. I can tell you that I have made progress since my appointment last week. Considering my OB told me my cervix was "Fort Knox," any progress makes me completely excited and seriously improves my state of mind.

For some reason, I just kind of have a "feeling" that labor is in my near future and I am so excited and terrified. In any case...here's where we are at these final days!

Baby's size: A WATERMELON! you know the line from Dirty Dancing?  can relate! My OB says baby is a little more than 7lbs. It's tough to tell how long he is, but the apps tell me he's probably 20-21 inches. Eek!

Baby's progress: He is basically good to go! At this point, he is just comfy inside my belly, continuing to gain a little weight and getting ready to make his big entrance. They say he's stretching his limbs and his little brain continues to develop.

Weight gain: It has really been fluctuating these past few weeks. I'm eating less because there is not much room anymore, but I'm also retaining more fluid. I think a safe guesstimate would be a total 45 lb weight gain.

Sleep: Not great. I'm in a lot of pain these days, especially when I get up from being in the same position for a long time. I still get up frequently to go to the bathroom and lately I wake up at all hours of the morning and can't fall back asleep for hours.

Movement: He is still SUPER active in there, but quieting down a bit as he gets ready to arrive, which is normal! I can feel his little feet at the top of my belly and I like to give them a little tickle from time to time.

Best moment this week: Bryan and I had our last official "date night" over the weekend. On Saturday, I pampered myself by getting my hair done and then I got a 90-minute massage. It was FANTASTIC! 

Bryan met me afterwards and we went to the Chriskindl Market downtown, where we lasted a very short while due to the MASS of people there. 

And then we just went to a nice dinner and it was so lovely! We ate leisurely and talked about how excited we are for this next chapter. It's just really nice to soak up these last moments where it's just us two. Oh yeah, and my husband is crazy and booked a trip to South America for next September, so that's fun! 

Looking forward to: Obviously, meeting the baby and introducing him to the world! Also, Christmas is coming up, and we've got family coming to visit us for the next few weeks. I'm also looking forward to maternity leave! It will be so nice to have 12 weeks with the babe getting to know each other.

Symptoms: Still pain; there's a lot more pressure in my lower abdomen and pelvis. My hips hurt. I'm having lots of contractions that I can tell aren't BH because they hurt, but they are really far apart and inconsistent. There are some other unpleasantries by way of symptoms but I'll spare you the details.

Workouts: Walking pretty much covers it. Does it count when I walk around Target for 2 hours?

What I miss: Sleep, feeling my fingers, not being in pain, eating without feeling nauseous...

Things that suck: This waiting game is seriously the pits. Am I labor, aren't I in labor? Was that a contraction, wasn't it? All of these unknowns are driving me insane! Oh yeah, and my OB had a baby over the weekend, which means I don't know who is delivering my own child! 

Things that don't suck: Knowing I'll meet our little dude in a few days! I'll also say, I've been pleasantly surprised by my size these last few days. I imagined myself LARGE with the most swollen feet and ankles and face you could imagine. Needless to say, I don't think I look good, but I think I could look worse. and that doesn't suck!

Keep you posted....

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The End of Pregnancy

Anyone who says that the first trimester of nausea and extreme exhaustion is worse than the last few weeks of pregnancy is lying. 

The end of pregnancy is, in a word, brutal. 

Mostly because I find myself in a weird place, physically, mentally and emotionally.

On the one hand, I am miserable. I am uncomfortable, huge, swollen and in pain most days. I am tired at all times. I can't really eat any more. I live in the bathroom. The prospect of being pregnant another two full weeks (the earliest my OB will induce) is terrifying and makes me want to cry. At the same, being pregnant another week or so doesn't seem like it will kill me.

So there's the feeling of just wanting the baby to exit my body for the sake of my own sanity and comfort.

On the other hand, I have no idea what's waiting for me on the other side of this. And that is terrifying. Yes, we will have a beautiful, healthy baby boy (God willing), whom we are BEYOND excited to meet. I know that the moment I hold him in my arms all of these thoughts will seem like a distant memory. 

But until then, we are dealing with so many unknowns. When will it happen? Where will I be when it happens? How much will it hurt? Will my epidural work? How long will labor last? Will I need a C-section? Will he really be healthy? What will his temperament be? Will he latch? Will he sleep? What will happen to our marriage? Will we be good parents? WHAT ARE WE DOING? 

Life as we know it is about to change. These last days are a mix of wanting to do nothing but sleep and relax due to the discomforts and all that I referenced above. But also wanting to take advantage of the few childless days we have left by continuing to see friends, going on date nights, seeing movies -- all of the things that in a matter of days, we aren't going to be able to do anymore on a whim. I've had many friends tell me, "You want nothing more than for them to come out, but once they are here, you wish they'd go back in for a bit longer!"

So, I say the last days of pregnancy are brutal because emotionally, physically and mentally, I am all over the place. My husband is cool as a cucumber, like he always is. I appreciate that he always remains calm and has the attitude of "We'll figure out like we do everything else." It provides me with some stability when I feel like a crazy person for feeling all of the things. He also makes a good point that people way less capable than us have raised children for years, and sadly, he's right. So there's that for comfort. :)

I know I'm not the first person to feel/experience any of this, and I know I won't be the last. I know that everything I feel right now is normal. I also know there is a village of people waiting to love our baby and support us however we need through this most amazing journey we're about to take. 

So as I enter my 39th week of pregnancy, I'm trying to stay positive. I'm doing my best to take advantage of "me time" while I can. As much as is physically possible in these semi-dark days, I am trying to relish the last days of pregnancy. I'm eating cookies and pizza because what's 1-2 more pounds at this point? I'm staying in bed on Sundays, only getting up to eat and pee, because there will never be another time in my life for me to do so without interruption.

I'm thankful for the pregnancy I've had, and that these last few weeks have been the worst of it. I already know I will miss the baby hiccups and the kicks and living with life inside me. I will miss this baby bump. I will want to do this again someday.

I know it will all be worth it.

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Baby Farrell's Nursery Reveal!

It's Monday. I'm still pregnant. It's raining. 

To brighten everyone's day (mostly mine) I thought I'd finally publish the post that everyone has been waiting for! (Just kidding, I'm confident no one has been waiting for this post.) OUR NURSERY REVEAL!

Creating our baby's nursery was so much fun and we are both so happy with the way it turned out. It was definitely a labor of love between my husband and I, and he put up with my multiple demands of put this here, move that there, hang that here, like a champ.

From the beginning, we knew we didn't want a "themed" nursery. For one, we don't how long we'll be in our current home and for the other, baby can't appreciate any type of theme right now or in the near future. So for us, we wanted a room that WE liked being in, given that there are bound to be some late nights and early mornings spent here.

We also didn't want anything too "boy." We -- or if I'm honest, I -- wanted a calming, beautiful room that was masculine and cute, but still "pretty" in a non-girly way. My hubby didn't protest. We went with a color palette of gray, white, navy and teal, and played with textures/patterns more than anything.

As we looked for finishing touches, we also decided to incorporate our love of travel with some details like prints on the wall, pillows and shelf decor. 

The end result is a space that I'm obsessed with, to say the least. My husband finds me sitting in the glider on a daily basis, reading, journaling, blogging or re-arranging the closet and drawers for the millionth time. 

The one detail not shown here are teal galvanized letters that hang above baby's crib and spell his name. Since we aren't revealing our name until he gets here, you'll just have to wait! Also not pictured is the closet, but that's just your typical way-too-many baby clothes (organized by age) along with some storage solutions.

  

  

Crib & Dresser // Franklin & Ben Providence Collection, purchased at Twinkle Twinkle Little One
Glider // Little Castle, Treasure model
Bookshelves // Ikea spice racks, painted
Distressed shelves // Hobby Lobby
Curtains // Pottery Barn Kids
Rug // Land of Nod
Night stand // Gordman's
Frames // Etsy Shop: The Speckled Egg
Prints // Etsy Shops: The Kismet Print Press, Crayon Box Studios, Riss Design, PinkeeArt, CheekyAlibi
Elephant toy chest // Land of Nod
Vintage wall decor // Hobby Lobby (not found online)
Navy blue lamp // Target (similar)
Aqua glass lamp // TJ Maxx (similar, but more expensive)
Bonjour Pillow // Land of Nod
Navy Chevron Pillow // Hobby Lobby
Navy Throw Blanket // Target
Chevron Throw Blanket // Buy Buy Baby
Changing pad cover // Land of Nod
Pouf // Land of Nod
Elephant Changing Table Storage // Pottery Barn Kids
Eiffel Tower nightlight // Pottery Barn Kids (not found online)
Crib bedding and bed skirt // Carousel Designs & American Baby Company

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Week 37 || Bumpdate

Oh man. What a week. I am actually 38 weeks today, but have been so sick all week, I haven't had the energy to post this or take a stupid picture. So this is what you get after 48 in bed, 4 hours in the hospital and not many hours of sleep when you are on your last day of 37 weeks:

I am feeling better today, but let me tell you, having a stomach bug while 9 months pregnant is the worst. THE WORST.

Baby's size: A wintermelon! Can you believe that? That puts him at between 19-21 inches and between 6.2-9.2 lbs. At 37 weeks, we are considered full term, and he will gain about half an ounce each day until he's born!

Baby's progress: He's still practicing skills like inhaling, exhaling, sucking, gripping and blinking. He's also getting ready to produce his first sticky poop, called meconium, which will greet us in his first diaper!

Weight gain: 43 lbs.

Sleep: Not great. It's really hard to get and stay comfortable, what with all of the tossing and turning (which is more like heaving and hoeing), going to the bathroom and waking up from pain in my hands.

Movement: He is still SUPER active in there, but I don't know how with how cramped it must be.

Best moment this week: Spending Thanksgiving with our families! I love the holidays and with everything going on right now with us, it's hard not to be thankful for all we have and all that's coming. We also got our home decorated for the holidays last weekend. I couldn't bear the thought of bringing our boy home to a Christmas-less house! I also got to meet my best friend's baby, Stetson, and it was so wonderful. Seeing her as a mom makes me so excited to join the club! Her babe has set the bar high for temperament and cuteness!

Me and Stets!

Looking forward to: Meeting my boy! We are less than three weeks away from my due date and that means he could be here any time. My doctor said she wouldn't have me go past 41 weeks, so that means we will have our baby before the end of the month!

Symptoms: Pain, pain and more pain. My pinky on my left hand and my middle finger on my right hand are both completely numb. Literally can't feel a thing. The rest of my hands and wrists hurt to clench, too. My belly hurts from stretching, and my hips and thighs are killing because things are...stretching. My belly is also numb, which is a TOTALLY weird feeling. And I'm having SO many Braxton Hicks contractions. They don't hurt but they are intense and my belly gets SUPER hard.

Workouts: I think my workout days are behind me. I'm pretty uncomfortable and having LOTS of pain in LOTS of places, so I'm probably going to stick with walking and stretching from here on out.

What I miss: Too many things to list.

What a difference 10 weeks makes.

Things that suck: By far the toughest part of my pregnancy has been these last few weeks. The fear and anxiety of the unknown are starting to take their toll on me and I've been so emotional as I think about how life is about to change. I just wish I knew when he'll be here, what labor will be like, what his temperament will be like, etc. And also this horrific sickness: Fever, abdominal pain, nausea, and other unpleasantness. What also sucks? I'm showing NO SIGNS OF PROGRESS in the labor department. My cervix is still closed. My next appointment is Tuesday. FINGERS CROSSED FOR SOMETHING TO HAVE PROGRESSED.

Things that don't suck: Knowing how close I am to the end...light at the end of the tunnel, even if the tunnel is 2+ weeks long...

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To-Do List Update

We have been busy around the Farrell house! A few weeks ago, I shared a to-do list before baby joins us ...any day now! It feels crazy to type that. We had quite a few things to accomplish and I'm happy to report the following update:

1. Paint guest bedroom. My hubby completed this one for me and once, when I was bored, I even went ahead and painted the master bedroom, too!
2. Clean out guest bedroom closet. Another task I completed during a long weekend while going insane wondering if my husband was alive on Mt. Rainier.
3. Move bed, dresser and crap out of guest bedroom and into a storage unit. We got ourselves a storage unit, and moved our guest bedroom furniture into it, along with a few other items that were taking up unnecessary space. It's nice to have to store some things that baby will soon grow out of, as well as grow into.
4. Rent storage unit. See above. 
5. Design and organize nursery. To say I'm obsessed with our nursery is an understatement! I had a definite vision when we started this project and it completely came to fruition and then some. I can't wait to share some photos with you this week!
6. Choose and order glider. Better yet, it arrived last week, and was the last piece to our nursery to complete the room. 
7. Call insurance company to get breast pump. I received my breast pump and accessories last week! Now just need to figure out how to use the damn thing...
8. Purchase remaining items from registry. We are pretty much set for baby! We have some very small items to purchase (First Aid stuff, stroller and diaper bag accessories, etc.) but other than that, baby is SET! And as predicted, I did go nuts on baby clothes, thanks to Black Friday and Cyber Monday sales...(sorry hubby.)
9. Choose and book a newborn photographer. We are going with AG Gallery. I can't wait!
10. Sign up for childbirth and childcare classes. We completed our classes in early November. It made me feel both better and worse about what's in store for labor and delivery...
11. Figure out childcare for post-maternity leave. We know we're joining a nanny share, but unfortunately can't find a nanny until I'm actually on leave, since many women are looking for a job now, not in March. 
12. Plan babymoon! We even went on our babymoon! Read all about it.
13. Choose name for baby. Chosen. And here's the post I promised how hard it is to pick a name.
14. Tour Labor & Delivery unit at hospital. Done during our childbirth classes!
15. Pack hospital bags. Baby's bag is packed, and my stuff is in a pile laid out. Much of the stuff I need I will use up to the day, but I'm mostly ready to go!
16. Pick a birth announcement. I have picked a few of my favorite templates. All that's left is filling in his birth details and photos!
17. Choose a pediatrician. We chose our pediatrician based on our OB's recommendation. He is someone in our practice and is highly recommended. He's even the author of a well-known baby book! 
18. Get car seat installation checked. People have made fun of me for this, but yes, I got the seat checked after it was installed. Can't put a price on peace of mind!
19. Purchase a baby book. Done! I got one from The Sweet Rhino and it's perfect.
20. Purchase additional life insurance. We actually opted not to do this based on the extra cost. It was more than we anticipated.
21. Contact insurance company to determine out-of-pocket costs. Still need to do this, but there are some other factors at play now, which I can't quite get into...
22. Register car seat and stroller. All major products have been registered in case of emergency or recall.
23. Get 3D/4D Ultraound. We did this a few weeks ago and it was amazing! It was SO crazy to see our little boy in 3D. He is adorable and I can't wait to see him in "real life."
24. Finalize maternity-leave plan. In progress...this is my biggest source of stress right now.
25. Save money! We had a goal and we met that goal. Now we just have to keep saving!
26. Cook and freeze meals. Yeah, not much progress here. That's what mom will be here for, right?
27. Create "baby's here!" contact list (phone and mail). I've updated my address list so as to know who to mail birth announcements to, and I have a list of who to text and call when the big day gets here.
28. Find/create storage solutions for baby, mom and dad. I got some super cute storage stuff for baby and husband and I were able to clear out a lot of crap in the process of moving stuff into storage. Hallelujah!
29. Buy winter coat for pre- and post-baby. Got one from Old Navy that just barely zips over my big belly, but it will have to do.
30. Figure out how to take care of newborn baby. Pretty sure this won't get checked off, but at least we know the basics!

So there we have it. All of the major stuff is done, except for the whole child care, maternity leave and insurance deals. Other than that, I think we are physically ready for baby. Now if I can just get a handle on my mental game, we'd be good to go...

Hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!

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What's in a Name?

I think every woman who plans to have kids some day, and even those who don't, have baby names that they like. Before we got pregnant, I kept a draft in my Gmail that I updated with boy and girl names. Some of them I came up with on my own, my husband mentioned some of them, and others we discussed together.

So when it came time to actually start choosing a name for the baby, I thought it would be a simple task.

NOPE.

As it turns out, naming another human is actually a lot of pressure.

You want to find a name that means something to you. You want a name that is strong. You want a name that won't get the kid made fun of his whole life. You want a name that is cute, but will also carry him or her into adulthood. You want a name that doesn't have the possibility of terrible nicknames from other little assholes. Maybe you want a family name. You want a name that is unique, but not too unique. And also one that is not too popular.

Three prime examples of terrible names.

Before we knew we were having a boy, we had two boy names we agreed that we would choose between. But as we considered girl names, we found it VERY hard to agree. Near the end, we finally agreed on one name that I'm pretty sure would have been our girl's name (and probably will be if we ever have one), but we basically decided to stop playing the name game until we knew if Baby Farrell was a boy or girl. (I recommend this - it will prevent a lot of fights.)

I call my husband "The Name Nazi." Every name I threw out there, he would ponder and come up with how said name could be used against the child. He'd come up with possible nicknames and if the possibility of a terrible nickname presented itself, the name was axed. We had to cross off A LOT of names for this reason. For example, I LOVE the name Greyson. "Grey" is such a cute little nickname. But when my husband pointed out that kids could (and probably would) call him "Gay" or "Gayson," it totally ruined it for me.

We also had the debate of "Let's name him this and call him this." For example, let's name him Bennett, but call him Ben. Which then begged the question, why, if you want to call him Ben, would you name him Bennett? You may have your own reasons and opinions on this. Ultimately, we never let this affect our name choice. Except with one name that had the possibility of a nickname/shortened version we did not want people calling him. So it got the axe.

As I said, we had two boys names that we both loved, but agreed that the one we are going with was "the one" for this baby. Hard to say why. When considering middle names, we wanted to use a family name, so we asked around on male names that ran in the family (aside from ones we knew). We've decided that, too, and are also keeping that a surprise.

Speaking of, no, we are not sharing our name prior to his being born. WITH ANYONE. My sisters try to get it out of me every time we talk. I must say, it's a fun way to torture people. (Muah hahahaha.) Our reasons for not sharing are pretty simple: We don't want your opinion.

Too many times, with family and with friends, I have heard them share their names and get a negative reaction from someone. "You're naming him what?" "I know someone named ___ and she is a bitch!" or "Ugh, that name is so snobby."

I give kudos to those parents who don't care what other people think and who share their name with everyone proudly, no matter what the opinion. For us, it's just not the route we are going with.

I can't wait to finally share with you all, and the world, what our little man is named. I'll give you a hint - JUST KIDDING. The name we chose is meaningful to us and to our family. It is strong. It is cute at the same time. It is perfect.

How did you choose your baby name?

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