Do you Assept This Rose: Bachelor Recap Tres

Considering I haven't written about anything but the Bachelor for the past two weeks, you might not be surprised to know that this blog is a STILL a Bachelor recap -- just like, a week late.

For work, I had to cover an all-night party hosted by Red Bull that started at 8pm on Sunday and lasted until 2pm Monday. (No lie.) Said party involved a Ball Pit Room, a Pillow Fight Room, a Candy Room and a foam party in a hot tub in the middle of a club. It was the weirdest event ever, and I'm slight traumatized about things I saw, so that's as far as I'll share with you. If you have individual questions, email me.

Back to the Bachelor recap. I'll keep it brief today, as I watched it last night and was doing other household things and not live DVR blogging, so here's some quick thoughts on some of the ladies left standing and an updated top 10.

Cassandra: Mentioned no less than 4 times that this was her first date in three years. WE GET IT - you got knocked up when you were 18 (by a professional basketball player) and have been raising a child/milking your rich baby daddy this whole time, but now he's cut you off and here you are, living the life you've always imagined. #sarcasm

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I totally get that JP is into the women who have children, but I feel like ANYONE who is a single parent trying to be in a relationship, there needs to be more in common than just having a kid. On this date, I felt as though the kids were the only thing they talked about. In other words...I was bored.

Sir Sharleen: Aka the opera singer. So many things. The fact that she got nailed in the face by the soccer bowl so many times. The fact that we DEFINITELY her very first kiss ever in the middle of the soccer field and it was the most disgusting and awkward kiss ever in the history of anything. And the fact that I called it in my first blog when I said she was going to be the one who questioned whether or not she was made for reality TV. Here's the truth, girl: You're Not.

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Andi: Still one of my faves, but when she pulls the "Things got serious for me" card, I lost a little bit of love for. TOO EARLY, ANDI. Keep it real and you'll go far. (Especially since you got naked on national television.) Keep it real she did when she hopped over a counter IN A DRESS and ate day-old hot dogs in the snackbar.

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Clare: Still don't like her. Could do without her mental breakdown. Am so completely annoyed by her and every other woman on this show who gets jealous because they have to share their boyfriend and watch him kiss other women all the time. GET IT TOGETHER, BITCHES. You are embarrassing.

Chelsie: Ah, the token [insert adventure here] is like falling in love because TRUST! Chelsie lost me with her horrific dancing in the car, and I also vomited while I listened to JP "sing" a song in Spanish. He doesn't really know English, get given that performance, it would seem he doesn't really know Spanish, either... Anyway, Chelsie basically took 10 hours to jump off a ledge and I can't even get mad at her, since I'm terrified of heights, too. What I can make fun of is all the "words of encouragement" that JP gave her while trying to coax her off the ledge. Best game of "That's what she said" ever.

“Relax, go back a little, do it for me, how do you feel, if you don’t want to do it it’s okay, if you can’t it’s okay.”

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Renee: Still another favorite, even though she had to play mom AGAIN this week at least three times. I wish she'd spend more time showing JP how normal she is and less time playing "Hey,Ma!"

Kat: Somehow became the target of all the girls' fury this week because she was the only one with enough boobs balls to jump on JP's shoulder for a Chicken Fight. Still like her, still think she'll go far.

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In the end, Christy and the homeless girl (Lucy) are sent home, which leaves 13-ish ladies, three of whom you already know are going home next week because we have yet to ever see them interact with JP.

Next week's picks to go home: Lauren S., Kelly, Danielle

Which leave the top 10 as:

Sharleen

Renee

Nikki

Kat

Elise

Clare

Chelsie

Cassandra

Andi

Alli

Which means I was right about all of the top 10 except Elise and Cassandra (I had Christy and Lucy).

See you next time (maybe sooner than Monday, but let's not get crazy.)!

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