Well, as quickly as it came, Liam's birthday also went on December 18.
I feel a little bad, since his actual birthday was not much to write about. The night before his birthday, we went to the Lincoln Park Zoo Lights to see the Christmas lights and Santa, so that was a fun excursion.
Having the best time?
On his actual birthday, we left to go home to Iowa for the holidays that afternoon, so he spent much of his birthday in the car. :( But, we woke him up with big smiles, lots of kisses, and...
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On Your First Birthday
My sweet boy, Liam.
It seems impossible that one whole year has gone by since I went to the hospital, in more pain than I ever thought possible, and that just 10 hours later, at 7:25am on December 18, 2014, you came into the world.
It all happened so fast, and so agonizingly slow at the same time. One minute you were inside my belly, and then there you were. The moment they placed you on my chest, all legs and arms and warmth, I knew I was a changed woman.
I didn't get to hold you again...
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A Letter to My Pre-Mom Self
Tomorrow, our little one will have his infamous first birthday. And I'm feeling all of the feels.
One whole year. Of getting to know each other. Of loving him. Of being a mom.
At times, it felt like the longest journey. But really, it went by in the blink of an eye.
Seeing the changes in him in the past year, and knowing how in the next 12 months, he will change even more, blows my mind. Before my eyes, he will - he has - become less and less of a baby and morph, somehow, into a little boy. A...
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Parenting in One Word
Momentous occasions are always met with required follow-up commentary and questions. When you get engaged, people ask how it happened. When you get married, people ask if it feels different. When you get pregnant, people wonder how you're feeling, when you're due and are you excited?
Having a baby is no different. Along with congratulations on your child's beauty and asking if you're getting any sleep, people with kids usually ask how you're feeling, And people without kids ask:
What's it like...
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10 Things I Was Before I Was "Mom"
As most any mom will tell you - they love being a mom. But I think we'd all be lying if we said we didn't think about, miss -- sometimes even long for -- the period of life before we lost a bit of our former selves.
Times we didn't appreciate. Times my kids will likely never know about, and if they do, never believe. Times that I'm willing to bet, our closest friends didn't appreciate, either. (My friends LOVE drunk Rachel. And they miss her.)
So kids, if you're reading - here are some things you should know about your Mom:
1. Before I was a mom, my Instagram featured something other than you. I know it's hard to believe, but "Mom Me," my Instagram looked like anyone else's: Poorly "styled" food photos, snaps of the alcoholic beverage I was consuming, overused hashtags, my dog, and trips from travels.
But then I got pregnant and my baby bump took over the feed. And then you actually arrived and I totally became the mom that I swore I never would be on social media. #BLESSED (Just kidding, I have never and will never use that hashtag.)
2. Before I was a mom, I used to sleep. On the weekends, you could find me going to bed between the hours of midnight and 4am. I'd rise for a quick hangover fix between 10-11am and then go back to bed and stay there, drifting between states of consciousness, before I got up and did it all again. I napped when I wanted to, woke up when I wanted to and that's right, went to bed when I wanted to.
3. Before I was a mom, I wasn't annoying. Not AS annoying, anyway. I certainly wasn't doing things like talking baby talk, making up songs about stinky diapers, dancing like a fucking idiot to make you smile, and following people around saying "No thank you!" as politely as possible when I really want to say "Don't touch that, god dammit!"
4. Before I was a mom, I used to be kinda cool. That's right. I was COOL AF. Nevermind. I wasn't cool. I'm still not.
5. Before I was a mom, I judged other moms. Kids throwing tantrum in public? Kids wearing mismatched clothes? Moms in public looking disheveled? Helicopter parenting? NOT ME. NEVER.
6. Before I was a mom, I used to party my ass off. Oh, the stories I could tell. The stories my friends could tell. I got five underage drinking tickets before I turned 21-three of those were in one week, and two were in one night. (No drinking until you're 21, kids!) The night I did turn 21, I took 21 shots to celebrate and lived to tell the tale. I was voted to have the "Best Party House" in high school. I passed out before noon on St. Patrick's Day, woke up three hours later and STILL went out to party the day away. Know this.
7. Before I was a mom, I was athletic. Well, kind of. I worked out on a semi-regular basis. I ran (a) half-marathons. I did a Tough Mudder. I was pretty much a badass.
8. Before I was a mom, I cursed like a motherfucker. I'm trying to get better at this, especially while I still have the luxury of you not really being able to talk. I'm sure hearing you mutter, "God Dammit" will not only give me the chuckles, but I will think it's adorable and impossible to scold you. That is until you start dropping F bombs. (And even then, let's be honest...)
9. Before I was a mom, I was put together. I curled my hair. I straightened my hair. If I styled my hair one way and didn't like it, I'd try the other. I had time for these things. I did my makeup. I wore jewelry. I tried on multiple outfits, worried about parts of my body other than my post-baby mom pouch. Now that I go to work, I am a *little* closer to being put together, but if you bet on my outfit on any given day, if I were you, I'd include "hoodie" and "yoga pants" in your wager.
10. Before I was a mom, I never knew how much how much I wanted to be one. Most of us spend our life trying NOT to get pregnant. We're scared of it. Even when we decided we wanted a baby, it was terrifying. But that moment you, my first baby, entered the world, you took it over. Life split into two halves: before you, and after.
Life before you was wonderful. I'm grateful for it. But I wouldn't trade one moment of this "after" life with you.
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Times we didn't appreciate. Times my kids will likely never know about, and if they do, never believe. Times that I'm willing to bet, our closest friends didn't appreciate, either. (My friends LOVE drunk Rachel. And they miss her.)
So kids, if you're reading - here are some things you should know about your Mom:
1. Before I was a mom, my Instagram featured something other than you. I know it's hard to believe, but "Mom Me," my Instagram looked like anyone else's: Poorly "styled" food photos, snaps of the alcoholic beverage I was consuming, overused hashtags, my dog, and trips from travels.But then I got pregnant and my baby bump took over the feed. And then you actually arrived and I totally became the mom that I swore I never would be on social media. #BLESSED (Just kidding, I have never and will never use that hashtag.)
2. Before I was a mom, I used to sleep. On the weekends, you could find me going to bed between the hours of midnight and 4am. I'd rise for a quick hangover fix between 10-11am and then go back to bed and stay there, drifting between states of consciousness, before I got up and did it all again. I napped when I wanted to, woke up when I wanted to and that's right, went to bed when I wanted to.
3. Before I was a mom, I wasn't annoying. Not AS annoying, anyway. I certainly wasn't doing things like talking baby talk, making up songs about stinky diapers, dancing like a fucking idiot to make you smile, and following people around saying "No thank you!" as politely as possible when I really want to say "Don't touch that, god dammit!"
5. Before I was a mom, I judged other moms. Kids throwing tantrum in public? Kids wearing mismatched clothes? Moms in public looking disheveled? Helicopter parenting? NOT ME. NEVER.
6. Before I was a mom, I used to party my ass off. Oh, the stories I could tell. The stories my friends could tell. I got five underage drinking tickets before I turned 21-three of those were in one week, and two were in one night. (No drinking until you're 21, kids!) The night I did turn 21, I took 21 shots to celebrate and lived to tell the tale. I was voted to have the "Best Party House" in high school. I passed out before noon on St. Patrick's Day, woke up three hours later and STILL went out to party the day away. Know this.
8. Before I was a mom, I cursed like a motherfucker. I'm trying to get better at this, especially while I still have the luxury of you not really being able to talk. I'm sure hearing you mutter, "God Dammit" will not only give me the chuckles, but I will think it's adorable and impossible to scold you. That is until you start dropping F bombs. (And even then, let's be honest...)
9. Before I was a mom, I was put together. I curled my hair. I straightened my hair. If I styled my hair one way and didn't like it, I'd try the other. I had time for these things. I did my makeup. I wore jewelry. I tried on multiple outfits, worried about parts of my body other than my post-baby mom pouch. Now that I go to work, I am a *little* closer to being put together, but if you bet on my outfit on any given day, if I were you, I'd include "hoodie" and "yoga pants" in your wager.
10. Before I was a mom, I never knew how much how much I wanted to be one. Most of us spend our life trying NOT to get pregnant. We're scared of it. Even when we decided we wanted a baby, it was terrifying. But that moment you, my first baby, entered the world, you took it over. Life split into two halves: before you, and after.
Life before you was wonderful. I'm grateful for it. But I wouldn't trade one moment of this "after" life with you.
lately.
As we're in the throes of holiday season (my favorite time of year) and also approaching Liam's first birthday, I find myself super emotional these days. I have so many words and thoughts waiting to pour out of me, and can't wait until I can dedicate a few hours to just writing through all these feelings! (If only there were, like...double the hours in a day.)
We celebrated Thanksgiving last week in Iowa with both of our families. We were home for a long weekend and looked forward to spending...
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