Bachelor Recap: Teen Mom Goes Home

It's hometown week! You know, the one where all the girls profess their love and one of the families is paid a little extra to give The Bachelor some shit.

Or, in the case of this season, all of the girls say they love Ben, but don't actually tell him, and the families are aggressively possessive of their sisters/daughters.

Again, I'm left wanting a little more drama this week, but in its place, we had screaming toddlers, sexual innuendos at a food truck, a girl auditioning to be The Bachelorette, and a mom chugging wine from the bottle her sons interrogate Ben.

I guess when I put it like that...

Amanda's hometown: Laguna Beach

First of all, girlfriend needs to put on some pants and a shirt with shoulders. (Short shorts go for you too, Ben.)

Second of all, as a fellow mama, I can't and won't make any judgements about Amanda's girls or their crying. C'mon—cut poor Charley a break. She's what, like 2? Not to mention seeing her mom for the first time in weeks and being surrounded by cameras while meeting a strange man would be a lot for anyone.

In the same vein, we've gotta cut Ben some slack, too. They, of course, showed shots of him making faces about the crying, etc. EVERYONE gets annoyed at children crying. Even parents get irritated by their children crying. It's a normal reaction, and not one that automatically means he's not ready to be a dad.

But. He's not ready to be a dad.

Amanda's parents are nice enough but wonder if Ben is too young to be a father. Let's all remember that Ben is actually a year OLDER than Amanda. Cue Amanda saying that she'll be crushed if she goes home this week. 

Which we all know means she's going home this week.

Lauren B.'s hometown: Portland

Lauren B. gets points for best "alone time" portion of the hometown. Food trucks and a whiskey library? (Ahem, Lauren, it is LIBRARY—not liberry.) Even I was turned on by that, and I'm a lady!

I think we can all agree that Lauren's family is the most attractive family anyone has ever seen. We finally get to meet her Dad, aka her life-long crush. Her sister is cool AF, and I have an instant crush on her. Ben probably does, too.

If it wasn't clear to you before, I hope you can see after this date that how CLEAR it is that she is going to win. From the way they greet each other to the way Ben CRIED to his future sister-in-law, there's just no way Lauren doesn't win.

Caila's hometown: Randomville, Ohio
Don't forget, Caila has moved more than the average human (times 12), so as she told us at least 15 times last night, she doesn't have "deep roots." As a result, she chose the most picturesque town in Middle America and called it home for the night.

PS: Her dad owns a toy company. And not just any toy company. STEP2. My fellow parents out there can attest, this is not a small company. Is it a "thing" for people to move 27 times because of that?

Not gonna lie, I was bored to tears during this date. Caila doesn't feel real to me. She feels rehearsed, and like she's watched this show enough to know what to say and when. The whole "Daddy, I love him!" scene was painful and barf-inducing. And again, I feel like ABC is hitting us over the head to make sure we know she's Filipino (aka SHE'S DIVERSE!). AKA: She's the next Bachelorette. Mark my word.

Also: Her mother's adult braces...

JoJo's hometown: Dallas
Ah, JoJo. Thanks for the memories, girl. Where to start...

First, JoJo arrives to her (hotel? house?) in Dallas and sees a dozen roses on the front porch, and assumed they were from Ben. Halfway through the note that came with the flowers, she realizes it's actually from her ex, Chad. What was supposed to be big drama, fell flat for me. UNLIKE JoJo's hair, which was probably styled by Chad because he is, in fact, a hair stylist.

Back at JoJo's house, her brothers, one of whom starred in a reality TV show, Ready for Love, share that they're protective of JoJo. I didn't get the feeling it was a "I'm a big brother looking out for my sister," it was more of, "If I can't sleep with my sister without getting arrested, no one can!"

Seriously, though.

The brothers basically spend the date interrogating Ben, and JoJo. Meanwhile, JoJo's mom chugs champagne straight from the bottle (a natural maternal response in such a situation), and JoJo's mom seems surprised to learn that there are still three other girls in the picture. For what I'm sure will not be the last time this season, again, I ask: HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SHOW BEFORE?

Also, JoJo is not to worry about getting heartbroken because she is beautiful.

That she is, Mama Fletcher. Her beauty and her breasts saved her this week, and we indeed, said goodbye to Amanda.

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Stop with the Mom Guilt

The other day, a friend of mine posted something on Facebook about her struggles with breastfeeding and the guilt that came along with it. It triggered something in me, as I too, had guilt associated with breastfeeding, but in a different way.

It made me realize, and not for the first time, that Mom Guilt is real. And it's so unnecessary.

The times in which I've felt guilty in the past 13 months are extensive, and for the most part, unreasonable. Here's the short list of what I've felt guilty about since I had Liam:

• Breastfeeding
• Not breastfeeding
• Supplementing with formula
• Feeding formula
• Going back to work
• Taking a vacation without him
• Missing dinner
• Missing bedtime
• Wishing for bedtime
• Getting frustrated with him
• Going to happy hour with
• Not playing enough with him
• Cleaning, cooking or doing something other than spending time together when I get home from work
• Looking at my phone instead of him
• Not having family dinners
• Not getting outside every day
• Not enough tummy time
• Not getting outside with him every day
• Letting him cry it out
• Screen time before the age of 2
• Not making my own baby food
• Not preparing elaborate lunches every day
• Telling him no
• Sometimes I use food or TV as a distraction
• Putting him in timeout
• Laying in bed for an extra beat when he wakes up crying to see if he'll stop
• Not getting Liam dressed until noon some weekends
• Wishing time away
• Not buying organic
• Not losing the baby weight
• Not spending enough time with the dog
• Not providing my husband with opportunity to spend time with Liam (early days)
• Not "doing things" with Liam when I was on maternity leave
• Spending too much money on Liam
• Not spending enough money on Liam
• Serving the same thing for dinner two nights in a row
• Giving him Peanut Butter Jelly multiple times a week

This list isn't comprehensive, and I'm sure I will only add to it over the years. But it's just not OK.

There's enough mom shaming that goes on - I know other moms judge me, I don't need to judge me, too.

So let's stop, with the mom guilt, shall we? Or at least try to? Instead of focusing on things we do "wrong" or "selfishly," let's shift the focus. Feel your guilt if you need to, and then move on. Don't dwell. The fact that I can name all of the above instances means I am dwelling.

Anything you, or I, feel guilty about is not likely to ruin our children. And guilt is not going to make you a better parent, either. Instead, let's think about all of the ways we love, provide, teach and nurture our children.

I will if you will.

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Rodan + Fields: What About It?

In my second month of joining this business, I've been having so much fun!! My little sister joined my team yesterday; my best friend and her little sister joined last week, and I'm making some side money just telling everyone how much I love this product!

Before I jump in to product highlights, I thought I'd share a little background about the company, what the products are about, etc. They actually have a super interesting history.

Doctors Katie Rodan and Kathy Fields, otherwise known as the Proactiv doctors, developed a skin care line that addresses a large range of skin care concerns, from rosacea to anti-aging.

In 2002, they realized they should be share these products with a broader audience so, they sold the product line to Estée Lauder who took it to high-end department stores. They quickly realized they could do so much more to help change skin and change lives by partnering with people interested in becoming independent business owners. They knew that transitioning to a direct sales model would allow the company to reach more customers, sell more product, and ultimately, help individuals become successful entrepreneurs.

In 2008, Rodan + Fields was the first company to successfully come out from behind the “glass counter” into the world of direct selling. It has been a huge success! Since then, the company has experienced triple digit growth EVERY SINGLE YEAR!

The cool news is, Rodan + Fields is just getting started! As a company we are debt free, growing in triple digits every year—in fact we grew our number of 6 figure annual income earners by over 128% last year. As a result of our fast growth, we are getting huge business accolades from the American Business Awards (for our case study with Harvard Business school), Ernst & Young, and the Direct Selling association just gave us more awards in one time, than any company in the 100 year history of direct sales! And as far as our products recognition—we are in major beauty blogs and magazines on a regular basis. The most amazing part about that is that Rodan + Fields does not market. EVERYTHING is word of mouth.

Why? Because the products do exactly what they say they do! And the doctor's believe this to the point that you can return empty bottles for up to 60 days after purchase for any reason!

Each regimen is designed to target a specific skin-related concern (aging skin, acne, sensitive skin and sun damage). All of the products are based on the Multi-Med Therapy philosophy of combining the right ingredients, in the right formulations, and using them in the right way to achieve REAL BENEFITS. Plus we have some great enhancement and essential products for body, eyes, and lips. 

Not sure what would be good for you? Feel free to take this solutions tool and email yourself the results. It's a great starting point for you and I to discuss some options for your concerns!

I am so passionate about these products and can’t wait to share them with you!

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Bachelor Recap: Come at Me, Bro!

This week's episode was EVERYTHING. Let's not waste time:

We picked up where we left off last week, with Ben confronting Olivia about what the other girls are saying. Of course, she plays the victim and explains to Ben that she doesn't get along with the other girls because she doesn't like to paint nails and do hair - she loves to read and "talk smart things," even though she's dumb AF. So basically, Ben, Olivia is nothing like the shallow women you really like!

"Come at me, Bro," is Olivia's response to the girls hating on her. Must be one of the "smart things"she likes to talk, in addition to, "Everyone can suck it."

I've never been so confused during a date as I was during Caila's. Ben tells her she's too smiley and basically needs to reveal her deep dark secrets. In response, this is what I gathered:

Caila: I'm not ready to open up
-I feel like I love you
-I might break your heart
-Our love is real
-I'm confusing
Ben: I don't know what any of that means, but I like it.

Keep in mind, this is the girl who thought she fell in love with a guy on an airplane, and then broke up with her boyfriend because she saw Ben on TV. I feel like she is MORE than confused. All I really took away from her date is that Caila has watched The Bachelor enough times to know what she's supposed to say, so she put all of those sentiments in one giant verbal vomit hurl. And in the words of my girlfriend, Mandy, Ben "feels...feels...like you are a freak in the sheets and will keep you around."

Meanwhile, back at the house, the group date card arrives and Leah starts to question the world in which she's been living the past few weeks. Again, I have to wonder what these girls think they're signing up for before they come on the show. The group date attendees means that Olivia and Twin are going on the two-on-one.

Olivia isn't phased because she's going to feel like Twin's mom on the date...like she's babysitting? Even though 1) Mom's don't "babysit" (another dig at Moms!) and 2) SHE AND TWIN ARE THE SAME AGE.

Becca's face is everything.

On the group date, the ladies and Ben go on a boat where they encounter the "unpredictability of life" in the form of pigs swimming in the ocean. What in the serious Fuck. At least they clarified that they fed the pigs chicken hot dogs so we didn't think they were cannibal pigs. Also, this:

Something has transpired that we clearly missed, because suddenly the girls are pissed about Ben spending all day with Lauren B., even though we've only seen them together for 15 seconds. Things get a little awkward, Ben tries to have JoJo be his therapist, and then he realizes he needs to right his wrongs at the cocktail party.

Leah decides to try and save herself by playing a villain in talking shit about Lauren B., and then lying about it. If she wasn't going home before, she's definitely going home now. You're looking a little desperate, girl. It's not a good look.

To make matters worse, Leah "decides" to head on over to Ben's place (where he's casually watching TV and having a glass of red) to continue shit talking. AKA, the producers tell her she has nothing to lose (except her shot at a relationship with Ben). So let me get this straight: She hasn't gotten any time with Ben, and now that she has it, she wants to spend it talking about Lauren B. And she's confused that he sent her home?

Also...we never find out where the hell she got that black eye!?

(Anyone else feel like all this talk about how he shouldn't end up with Lauren B. is foreshadowing that she is exactly who he will end up with? Food for thought!)

As if we haven't had enough drama for the episode, now we get the 2-on-1. Twin hopes Olivia shows her true colors. Olivia appears to be so confident, she didn't bother getting ready for the date, while Twin actually looks gorgeous. (I've NEVER thought that about her.) Olivia goes on another diatribe about herself telling Ben, "Deep intellectual things are my jam," and when asked for an example, exclaims, "I love you."

{crickets}

Twin is gives a weird speech about growth and seeking validation that sounds more suited for asking for a promotion, so I don't have a good feeling.

OH MY GOD, WAIT!

Ben takes the Rose AND Olivia, and SAYS GOODBYE. She is so confident that she's getting the rose but SHE GONE! She's left standing on an island all alone, her cankles stuck in the sand. My guess is she'll probably stay there until they come back to film Bachelor in Paradise, because you KNOW she's going to be there.

No cocktail party tonight - I think Ben's had enough of the drama-rama this week. Lauren H. is clearly going home.

Other thoughts:

• JoJo seems to be a bit of a mother hen, no? She also wears a lot of see-through clothes.
• Olivia looks like a different person in every single scene. 
• The Twin is SO much prettier with no/less makeup. SO MUCH BETTER. 
• Does anyone know if Olivia made it off the island?

Top 4 remains:

1. Lauren B
2. Caila
3. JoJo (FAVORITE!)
4. Amanda

Best episode so far, guys! What did you think?

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Mama Moment #1: A Shitty Morning

Becoming a mama is not only amazing - it makes for some great stories and a million awesome moments.

The storyteller in me is compelled to capture every moment - every giggle, every smile, every funny face and silly action, be it with my camera, a video, a SnapChat, or a blog.

But it's good to live in the moment, too. Just to let the moments happen and record them in your brain, for your eyes only, rather than sharing them for the world to be a part of.

I am so excited for the years to come with Liam. Yes, I know that toddlers bring a whole new set of challenges than a baby does, but bring them on, I say. Tantrums, candid comments, sweet gestures, unintentional comedy - I want it all! I know these years will bring with them so many things that I will never want to forget.

So this is my attempt at capturing those moments and memories. They may be sentimental, horrifying or hysterical. They're moments I never want to forget. I'll share them as they happen, and hope you'll do the same with me. In the spirit of other mamas doing the same on the Interwebs, we shall call these...Mama Moments.

Mama Moment #1

Bryan and I trade weekend days for getting up with Liam. On Sunday, it was my morning to sleep in. Sometime around 8:30am, Bryan came rushing into the room and with Liam in his arms, took him straight to the bath in our bathroom. I didn't have my glasses on, so I asked what was going on.

"I don't want to talk about it," he says.

I get up, go in the bathroom, and expecting to see Liam in puke or poop, I see the later. I go into Liam's room to see lay out some clean clothes. It's there I see the changing table cover is gone, and the pad underneath is covered in poop. But that's not all.

There is poop on the walls. On the crib rails. On the crib sheets. The floor is soaking wet. I stood there, stunned for a moment, and began to clean up. Bryan and Liam come back into the room.

I stood there, silently before asking..."What happened?"

Bryan explained that Liam had a blowout during breakfast and while changing him afterward, the poop got all over the changing table. So he put a naked Liam in his crib while he changed the pad and wiped things down.

Next thing he knew, Liam was standing up in his crib, and gleefully started peeing through the crib rails (hence the wet floor). Bryan went to get something to clean THAT up, he came back and noticed, in horror, that Liam had poop all over his feet, legs, hands, and crib. He had diarrhea...again, this time all over his crib.

And so we arrived at the moment in the bathroom. Thankfully, we were able to laugh at the moment, but let's be honest...it was a shitty morning.

(See what I did there?)

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Bachelor Recap: JoJo's Tacos {Cringe} + The Worst McDonald's Commercial Ever

There's too much to say this week, so let's cut to the chase and hit the highlights:

Amanda - I'm sure she is a sweet gal and a good mom, but I just can't with her high baby voice. Her pitch, coupled with how frequently she says"like" in a sentence really prevent me from putting her very high on my "favorites" list. However, I do think she seems well liked by the other girls, and I think Ben is into her. I'm fairly certain we like,  have to listen to her voice for at least a few more episodes. Side note: NO ONE WAKES UP LIKE THAT!

Ben's method of holding a champagne glass: Just no.

Jubilee - Pretty sure Jubilee did not know exactly what she was signing up for with The Bachelor. She's been salty since their one-on-one date, mostly because Ben is dating other women. She's bitchy to Ben (though I think she thinks she's being funny??), isolates herself from the women, is the only one not getting along with her cooking partner (the ever-likeable Lauren B.) We get it, Jubilee, you are not as "simple" as the other girls, and you also don't have blonde hair and white skin. I think Ben really liked her but when he saw that she was so insecure, rude and doesn't play well with others, he didn't have much of a choice to say buh-bye. The interwebs seem enraged by this choice, but I get it.

JoJo's taco: Your taco brings all the boys to the yard, JoJo. We got it. Your taco tastes amazing, Ben will love your taco, you've had no complaints about your taco. We are all laughing like the children we are, well done. (Also, her doppelgänger is Isla Fisher.)

Olivia - Oh, Olivia. She never disappoints, does she? Does she not get that the likelihood of getting a SECOND one-on-one date before other girls have even had a chance to have their first conversation (ahem, Jennifer & Leah) is just not happening? When Amanda gets the one-on-one, she says she doesn't think Amanda is what Ben's looking for. I've got news for you, Olivia, I'm pretty sure that Ben is also not looking for an insecure, self-absorbed, bad-breathed biotch who has to constantly be in the spotlight! Later, she tells Amanda she feels like she's in an episode of Teen Mom. So...pretty much, Olivia thinks that women with children are dramatic and damaged goods. I will say this about Olivia. While she definitely has a big chunk of crazy in her DNA, I also think Olivia is an easy target for the producers to bait. But don't forget guys, Olivia can feel the “electricitay.” Cool.

Cheating: Was it a requirement for this seasons ladies?

Fashion show/Lauren H.: I can't decide how I feel about Lauren H. She's had comedic moments, but mostly I think she's a bit dull. (She did win when she was woken up at 430am with her retainer and crazy hair.) I know nothing about fashion, let alone Mexican fashion, but I have no idea why Lauren is so amped about going to this fashion show! As if she's ever heard of this designer. And her worry about standing out among models? Don't worry, sweetheart, pretty sure Ben is only contractually obligated to be interested in you. I did like the wink Ben gave her walking down the runway. Honestly, I think my distaste for Lauren hasn't gone away from a couple of weeks ago when she said Ben needed to marry a soccer mom. (Seriously, what is with this women?)

McDonalds Commercial: I can't be the only one thinking "WHAT THE FUCK" duing that disaster of a commercial featuring former Bachelor couples. Not lovin' it, McDs. Not at all.

The twin: (Who is still labeled as, "Twin") I am not into the twins...have never been into the twins. Nor have I been into the TWIN. But, I did appreciate her humor tonight. She had a lot of one-liners that made me chuckle, and she sealed her fate for the season "snitching" on Olivia. I do wish she hadn't done the ugly cry during that whole thing, though. Also - she looks like a different person with no makeup.

To be continued:
Isn't ever episode to be continued? There's no way he's taking back Olivia's rose.

New top 4:
1. Lauren B. (She can see a LIFE LIFE with Ben, guys!)
2. JoJo
3. Amanda
4. Caila

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